5 Movie Sequels I’d Pay To See Right Now

Bill & Ted 3

Probability : Excellent! How would a middle aged Bill S. Preston, Esq. (Alex Winter) and Theodore “Ted” Logan (Keanu Reeves) be doing in the 2000s? I’d love to know how they could tie that idea into the existing mythology.  Recently both Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter have recently gone public with their interest in making this movie a reality.

Kill Bill 3

Probability : Unlikely. Everything you need for another movie is set right up for you in Kill Bill Volume 1.  The Bride (Uma Thurman) assures the young daughter of Vernita Green (Vivica A. Fox) that she will have her chance for revenge once she is older.  Quentin Tarantino comes up with so many sequel ideas all the time (anyone remember The Vega Brothers?) that I doubt he’ll ever settle down and do Kill Bill 3.  It’s really a shame though, it would be great to see The Bride reverse roles and become the villain.

Evil Dead 4

Probability : Low. At this point Bruce Campbell’s character Ash is so iconic how could you not want to follow his adventures in another film?  Sure there’s been comic book and video game sequels over the years since 1993’s Army Of Darkness, but I want the real deal – Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell. Unfortunately at this point it seems like only a remake of the original Evil Dead is on the horizon.

Mad Max 4

Probability : Filming Soon, But Lame. A few years ago Mel Gibson and George Miller were all ready to give us the 4th Mad Max film, titled Fury Road, but due the troubles in the Middle East filming was indefinitely postponed.  Flash forward a couple years and two Mel Gibson meltdowns later the film is again back on track for next year but with Thomas Hardy recast as Max.  The rumor is the story will pick up shortly after Beyond Thunderdome.  I would have loved to see what 25 years in the wastelands would have done to the original Max but I guess that’s never going to happen.

Taxi Driver 2

Probability : Unbelievably Likely. The New York City that Travis Bickle inhabited in 1976 no longer exists. Everything has been cleaned up and Disneyfied. How would he have handled that change?  That question has been on my mind for years and it looks like Martin Scorsese, Robert De Niro, and Lars Von Trier are planning on giving us some answers.  I just hope they really follow through and get this movie done.




30 Days Of Horror 2

What’s the worst part of any zombie movie? It eventually ends.

In preparation for AMC’s new original series “The Walking Dead”, based on Robert Kirkman’s best-selling comic book series, I will be reviewing a different zombie movie everyday for the entire month of October. 31 movies in 31 days. That’s enough brain chomping fun for even the most hardcore zombiephile. Look, there comes one of them now…

Night Of The Living Dead

George A. Romero became the godfather of the modern zombie with his groundbreaking directorial debut in 1968. Still studied 40 years later.

Dawn Of The Dead

Sequel to NOTLD. Turned the gore factor up to 11 while presenting an interesting take on American consumerism. My favorite of the series.

Zombi II

Lucio Fulci’s quicky rip-off of DOTD is actually a lot of fun. Contains 2 classic scenes : A Splinter In Your Eye and Zombie vs Shark!

The Evil Dead

This low-budget horror classic from director Sam Raimi is incredibly ambitious and highly imitated. Introduced the world to Bruce Campbell.

The Beyond

Crazy zombie apocalypse from Italian director Lucio Fulci. The plot is pretty nonsensical but the ending is very good.

Night Of The Comet

I Am Legend meets John Hughes. Two rad sisters (Catherine Mary Stewart and Kelli Maroney) try to survive the end of the world. One of my personal favorites.

Day Of The Dead

Best special effects and probably the weakest film in the Romero series. Budgetary problems are probably to blame for the film’s limited scope.

Hard Rock Zombies

What’s more metal than zombies? How about some dead rock stars returning from the grave to fight Hitler and his werewolf wife Eva Braun!

The Return Of The Living Dead

Really funny punk rock riff on Romero’s zombie series. First appearance of the “running zombie” that I could find.

Night Of The Creeps

One of those rare movies that embraces it’s own campiness. Nobody played a cop better in the 1980s than Tom Atkins.

Zombie Nightmare

A really terrible movie turned into a classic thanks to Mystery Science Theater 3000. Don’t try watching it without their hilarious riffing.

Evil Dead 2

The perfect mixture of horror and comedy. I still think this scene contains some one of the greatest fights ever captured on film.

The Video Dead

Horrible acting, zero budget – this movie is so bad its awesome. I don’t know what the hold up is, but release this thing on dvd already!

Return Of The Living Dead Part II

Less than stellar sequel tries to be too funny and fails miserably. Case in point – Michael Jackson zombie. Skip this one.

Army Of Darkness

The funniest film of the series finds Ash transported back to medieval times. This is the movie that made Bruce Campbell an icon.

Dead Alive

Before Peter Jackson was winning Oscars, he directed some amazing horror films – including this one that may be the goriest movie ever!

Return Of The Living Dead 3

Ditching the lame comedy of Part 2, the series really got back on track with this installment. Really amazing and gross special effects.

Cemetery Man

Funny and just plain weird Italian zombie movie from Dario Argento protege Michael Soavi starring Rupert Everett. I really like the ending.

Junk

This Yakuza/zombie import is pretty forgettable but it does contain one of the funniest lines ever – “They’re probably zombies”.

Stacy

Every bad American actor living in Japan showed up for a part in this movie about young schoolgirls turning into zombies.

28 Days Later

Brought the zombie movie screaming (and running) into the 21st century. I really like the documentary look of the movie.

House Of The Dead

So bad its not even funny, this Uwe Boll stinker should be avoided at all cost.

Dawn Of The Dead

Zack Snyder did the impossible – made a great remake of one of my favorite movies of all time. Make sure you watch all of the credits…

Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Even though I feel like this movie is the weakest of the series to date, it does have a few cool things going on to keep your attention.

Shaun Of The Dead

Hilarious homage to the Romero zombie universe. Made me a lifelong fan of any work Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg do in the future.

Land Of The Dead

After 19 years away from the genre he invented, George A. Romero has returned! Slickest looking of the series and you actually see the zombie evolve.

Day Of The Dead 2: Contagium

I know, let’s buy a recognizable title and crap all over it! The makers of this excuse for a movie should really be ashamed of themselves.

Fido

An interesting movie that takes place in a 1950s-esque alternate universe where people use shock collars to keep zombie servants.

Resident Evil: Extinction

Few zombie movies take place in daylight let alone the desert. I really like that about this movie, probably my favorite of the series.

28 Weeks Later

Thankfully not just a rehash of the first movie’s style or story. I wonder if they will ever get around to making 28 Months Later…

Diary Of The Dead

George A. Romero reboots his own series with mixed results. I’m not a huge fan of this movie but I’m interested on where he goes from here.

That Completist Mentality

That Completist Mentality, or: Why do I own 2 versions of the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy when I really don’t even like it?

That’s a good question, one I found asking myself recently as I began the yearly task of reorganizing my dvd collection. Usually I would end up have a box or two of new dvds that needed to be sorted and inserted into my ever expanding wall of dvds. But staring at this year’s pile sitting on my living room floor I knew something had to be done to stop this madness.

I have a lot of dvds, many are unwatched or even opened.  The fun has always been in the hunt for that rare or obscure movie.  I just couldn’t buy the first film of a series without the rest. If I liked a certain director I had to have all of their movies. And then there are those certain movies that I figured everyone should have in their collection. It is a true sickness.

But in the age Netflix what’s the point of owning thousands of movies when you can have any movie you want in your mailbox tomorrow?  And if you can’t wait that long you can even start instantly streaming thousands of movies via Hulu, iTunes, Xbox Live, Amazon, and so on. Keeping that mantra in mind it was time to start making some hard decisions.  One by one I started analyzing each movie and by the end I managed to actually cut my collection in half.  Sure I still have a lot of movies, but cut me some slack, I got rid of all of my Lord Of The Rings dvds.

30 Days Of Horror

horrormovies

In celebration of every horror film fan’s month, I will be reviewing one of my favorite horror films every day.  I’ll start by picking one of my favorite films from 2008 and continue all the way back to 1978, the year John Carpenter’s original HALLOWEEN was released. Every title is readily available on dvd if want to follow along.

Cloverfield (2008)
What could have easily become a lame gimmick, the first-person perspective really adds to the tension of this creepy giant monster film.

The Mist (2007)
A film that gets better each time I watch it. A terrific ensemble cast and creepy monsters. One of my favorite endings ever!

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)
Genre-bending film that takes place in a world where horror movies are real. Turns the tired slasher film into something new and fun.

The Descent (2005)
A group of vacationing women run into some strange creatures while spelunking in the Appalachian Mountains. A truly scary movie.

Saw (2004)
What started off as a really original concept for a film has be spoiled by the endless parade of uninspiried sequels.

May (2003)
A difficult film to explain, but one that would be ruined by explaining too much. Angela Bettis turns in a star-making performance.

Resident Evil (2002)
Probably the first film based on a video game that I actually liked and one of the first films in the current zombie resurgence.

Session 9 (2001)
Incredibly tense film about an asbestos cleaning crew working in an abandoned mental hospital. Don’t watch this one alone late at night…

Ginger Snaps (2000)
A well-made little film that uses lycanthropy as a metaphor for puberty. The 2 young female leads are very good in their first film.

Blair Witch Project (1999)

A rare film that transcended the horror genre and became a must-see for non-horror fans. I haven’t watched it since 1999, it still holds up.

Bride Of Chucky (1998)
The 4th film in any series should never be this good. A really fun and inspired way to restart the Child’s Play series for a new generation.

The Ugly (1997)
A psychiatrist interviewing a well-known serial killer finds out that the voices the killer hears may be more than just voices.

From Dusk Til Dawn (1996)
QT and Robert Rodriguez’s first team-up is this immensely enjoyable mash up of crime and horror – and they also made Clooney a movie star.

Tales From The Crypt : Demon Knight (1995)
The first (and best) film based on the classic HBO series has a near-perfect mixture of comedy and gore. Even the Crypt Keeper is tolerable.

Brainscan (1994)
Good film that came out in the unfortunate time when nobody liked horror films. Writer Andrew Kevin Walker’s next script was SEVEN.

Trauma (1993)
Well into his career Dario Argento released this crazy film. A killer is out to collect people’s heads with one of the craziest weapons ever.

Troll 2 (1992)
Arguably one of the worst films ever made. Everyone owes it to themselves to see this one at least once in their life. Hilarious and awful.

The Pople Under The Stairs (1991)
One of Wes Craven’s most under-rated films. A good mixture of horror and comedy. One of those films you have to watch if you catch it on tv.

Night Of The Living Dead (1990)
Horror FX legend Tom Savini directed this solid remake of the 1968 classic. The updated zombie effects still hold up 18 years later.

Pet Sematary (1989)
Kids in horror films are usually creepy and nobody did creepier better than Miko Hughes in the 1980s. Great theme song from The Ramones too.

The Blob (1988)
One of the last great all-practical effects films. A real fun remake with a cliff-hanger ending for a sequel that never was made.

Hellraiser (1987)
Clive Barker’s directorial debut is one messed up film. I used to be scared of the film’s coverbox on the shelf at the video store as a kid.

Henry : Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)
Arguably one of the most disturbing films ever made. It took a few years after it was made to actually be released because of the MPAA.

Re-Animator (1985)
Early tv trailers promised a film “way beyond the possibility of any rating”, and boy were they ever right! What a disgusting and fun film!

Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)
Freddy Krueger revitalized the slumping slasher genre and put New Line on the map in 1984. By far the scariest film of the long-running series.

Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Remembered for its completely shocking ending (NSFW) more than anything else. That’s a shame because it really is a pretty good film. NOTE : You should really watch the film before spoiling the ending.

Poltergeist (1982)

Possibly the scariest PG-rated film ever made. The sequels are pretty terrible. A lot of people would say the entire series is cursed.

An American Werewolf In London (1981)
John Landis’ film is a brilliant mixture of horror & comedy and it has one of the best special effects sequences ever put on film.

Friday the 13th (1980)
This film took what Halloween started and turned the gore factor up to 11. Most of the endless sequels are actually pretty good too.

Phantasm (1979)

Agnus Scrimm’s Tall Man is just as creepy today as he was in 1979. Weird poster too that has nothing to do with the film.

Halloween (1978)
Hands-down my favorite horror film of all time. Its so simple you wonder why nobody thought of doing it before this one came out.

Seagalgust

Dear Steven,
How have you been? I know its been a while since we talked, actually its been years. We used to be so close and we had some really great times together. I even remember the first time we met: it was the summer of 1989, I was young and impressionable, and it was love at first chop to the throat. I never saw an action movie quite like ABOVE THE LAW before and I couldn’t get enough. I watched it countless times and I was there opening day for HARD TO KILL and MARKED FOR DEATH. But something happened to us after UNDER SIEGE. It wasn’t you, it was me. I thought I outgrew your brand of entertainment, but secretly I’ve always wondered how you were doing. So to try to make up for lost time I’m going to check out what you’ve been up to for all these years and after it is all said and done I hope we can still always be friends.
Your Pal,
Chris

Aikido Master. Action Movie Star. Blues Musician. Energy Drink Creator. These are just a few of the ways you could describe the career of Steven Seagal. I recently was inspired by the outlaw film critic Vern’s new book Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal to go back and revisit the career of one of my earliest action heroes. I’m going to spend the next month reviewing Seagal’s oeuvre from the beginning. Some I’ve seen before, most I have not.   This should be interesting…

GOLDEN ERA (1988-1991)

Above the Law (1988)

Seagal’s big screen debut. Some convoluted plot involving drug runners, refugees, and US senators. Lots of great fights and broken bones.

Hard to Kill (1990)

Debut of the ponytail! Seagal’s family is murdered and he spends 7 yrs in a coma. Once he wakes up its time for revenge on the evil senator.

Marked for Death (1990)

Screwface, Seagal’s most known villiain, makes this film one of my early favorites. The great Keith David also adds some great chemistry.

Out for Justice (1991)

Seagal at his bone-crushing best. William Forsythe plays a truly crazy villain. Great bar fight too. By far my favorite film he’s made.

SILVER ERA (1992-1997)

Under Siege (1992)

Seagal’s mainstream cross-over hit. A pre-Fugitive Tommy Lee Jones hams it up real good. Not a lof of hand-to-hand combat in this one.

On Deadly Ground (1994)

Seagal took heat for his environmentally themed directorial debut. He was actually right but how does blowing up refineries help the earth?

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)

Seagal’s first sequel. Dated VFX really stand out. Hardly seems like a proper sequel, rather a script with Ryback plugged into it.

Executive Decision (1996)

Seagal’s first supporting role and first time he is killed off. Seagal does a good job with the few scenes he’s in.

The Glimmer Man (1996)

Seagal’s first buddy picture is a pretty bad ripoff of SEVEN, right down to the perpetual LA rain. I still don’t know what the title means.

Fire Down Below (1997)

Seagal is off to Kentucky to investigate some toxic waste dumping and play some guitar. Good supporting cast makes this one quite enjoyable.

TRANSITIONAL PERIOD (1998-2002)

The Patriot (1998)

The beginning of the end – Seagal’s first DTV film. High production values can’t hide the fact that there’s hardly any action in this film.

Exit Wounds (2001)

Seagal teams up with DMX to fight corruption in the Detriot PD. Seagal’s first use of wire-fu. Film relies too much on lame comic relief.

Ticker (2001)

Another supporting role for Seagal as a Zen bomb squad commander. A ridiculous amount of stock footage makes this one hard to follow.

Half Past Dead (2002)

Seagal’s last-gasp of a theatrical release. So many double and triple crosses make this film almost incomprehensible. The only PG-13 so far.

DIRECT TO VIDEO ERA (2003-PRESENT)

The Foreigner (2003)

Overly complicated and muddled plot finds secret service agent Seagal in Polland double-crossing the KGB.

Out for a Kill (2003)

Seagal plays a professor of Chinese archaeology at Yale. Yes, that Yale. This loopy film is one of the better DTV titles so far.

Belly of the Beast (2003)

Director Sin-Tung Ching brings his unique style to this film which has Seagal looking for his missing daughter in Thailand.

Out of Reach (2004)

Seagal plays a wildlife conservationist who travels to Poland to save his 13-year old pen pal from a slavery ring.

Into the Sun (2005)

A suprisingly strong entry in the DTV era. A battle with the Yakuza allows Seagal to add a lot of his own Japanese interests into the film.

Submerged (2005)

What originally start out as a monster movie script was turned into another typical action movie once Seagal got involved in the production.

Today You Die (2005)

A great title and opening sequence made me think this might be a throwback to the 80s, but I was wrong. Another typical confusing DTV entry.

Black Dawn (2005)

Sequel to The Foreigner. Seagal goes undercover with a IMF-type ream to stop some nuclear terrorists.

Mercenary for Justice (2006)

Murky plot finds Seagal breaking into a heavily guarded prison to save the son of a eastern European drug lord.

Shadow Man (2006)

This film has some of the most blatant Seagal body doubles of the DTV era. Also co-stars Oscar nominated actress Imelda Staunton.

Attack Force (2006)

Seagal is sent to Paris to find out who killed 3 of his trainees. Turns out it was a super-powered hooker. No joke.

Flight of Fury (2007)

Remake of the 1998 Michael Dudikoff thriller Black Thunder that Seagal didn’t really want to make and it shows.

Urban Justice (2007)

Finally a DTV that is a throwback to the glory days of great Seagal films. Great action, cool villain. I really enjoyed this one.

Pistol Whipped (2008)

Not as strong as Urban Justice, but far better that most of Seagal’s later DTV work. Seagal creates a nicely nuanced character with flaws.

Kill Switch (2008)

Seagal plays a Memphis detective on the trail of a brutal serial killer. First time I saw someone get curbed since American History X. Ouch!

OTHER APPEARANCES

My Giant (1998)

Seagal briefly cameos in a movie Billy Crystal’s character is producing in this really terrible laugh-free film.

The Onion Movie (2008)

Hit or miss sketch comedy film from the famed news outlet. Seagal keeps reappearing as himself promoting a new film called Cock Puncher.