★★☆☆☆
Hellmouth
I admire the swing with the virtual sets and the commitment to creating such a strange visual world. Unfortunately, the story just…
MOVIE REVIEWS
Movies watched, rated, reviewed & revisited.
Movie Reviews Archive
★★☆☆☆
Hypnotic
This might be the most Netflix movie I've ever seen. Slick enough to look respectable, generic enough to instantly forget, and so…
★☆☆☆☆
Boarding School
For a minute I thought I'd stumbled onto some forgotten '80s oddity, then I realized this was made in 2017. Unfortunately, what…
★★☆☆☆
The Funeral Home
They really make you work for those last ten minutes. Almost the entire movie is spent waiting for something, anything, to happen,…
★★★★☆
Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma
For me, this is Schoenbrun’s best movie yet. The tone, imagery, and characters have stuck with me far longer than I expected,…
★★★☆☆
Ice Cream Man
Oh Eli Roth, I fall for your tricks every time. The gore is an absolute blast, but the ugly, garish cinematography nearly…
★★☆☆☆
Time Cut
Feels like someone asked AI to generate the most generic Netflix time-travel slop imaginable. Every character, twist, and emotional beat feels assembled…
★☆☆☆☆
Puzzle Box
Do you enjoy watching a couple of idiots run around a house screaming for 90 minutes? I don’t.
★★☆☆☆
The Glenarma Tapes
Mostly just a bunch of people I couldn't see running around in the woods. Darkness can create tension in found footage, but…